loupdesombres

Funny how things happens sometimes.  I had planned to put up more posts here in the past few weeks but things around the new place where I live have been keeping me very busy.  Most of them has to do with captain psycho living with us but thank God he is leaving in about 5 days.  Problem is, the damage has been done. 

My dog has been taking most of my time these last few days as she has been getting worse and worse health wise.  She pretty much started going downhill after captain psycho beat her up while I was away one day.  Don't worry folks, I plan to make that asshole pay for what he has done but for now I have more urgent business to take care of.  So with great sadness I have now taken the hardest decision of my 39 years.  Tomorrow I have to put my dog Maggie down.  She's at a point where she can't stand up anymore and doesn't want to eat anymore.  It is hard to lose someone that has been part of my life for this long but I also know that it is the right thing to do. 

So again, I won't be around much until I can get my head in a better state but I have no fear, I will be back.

So far, since I’ve moved to my new place people have kept asking me if I regret my move and if I’m happy.  I have no choice to say no….no I’m not happy at all.  The moving in itself was a nightmare mostly because of a moron’s lack of control and the living in my new place has been another nightmare because of what I thought was a good friend that I was helping out turned out to be Instead and aggressive son of a bitch.

 

Now usually, anybody who knows me knows that I do defend myself with the absurd but with this situation things are very different.  I know enough about this person that If I start to defend myself It with end up violently.  That’s the way he is.  No control over his temper.  My mom has been around violence all her life and has a very hard time with it.  What don’t help matter much was when about two years ago my sister’s boyfriend tried to stab my mom.  That pretty much put her in shock and she still has a hard time with it. 

 

Anyway, I know that she is very fragile at the moment, you can really see it when you talk to her, so I got to be very careful when I deal with captain psycho living with us.  So putting my foot up his ass is a big no no at the moment.  I got to take his crappy speeches and just smile.  It ain’t easy but I know it makes things easier for everyone and I know he’ll be gone real soon.  So I can take it for a short while and then I don’t ever have to see it again.  Then maybe I’ll be able to start telling people that I’m happy living here.

 

So I’ll give more details on this situation on my next entry.

Well, it's finally done.  I have finally moved.  Of course I'm still up to my ears in boxes but slowly everything is getting placed. Come to think of it, not everything will be getting place.  I did what I thought was a favor to one of my friend and it's coming to bite me back in the ass.

 

A few weeks ago, a guy I know for over 20 years needed a place to stay for the next 2 to 3 months.  At my mom's house (which is now our house) there was kind of some extra space and it happens that my mom needed the cash.  So I made the suggestion to help him out while his new place gets ready.  It was accepted and he moved in two weeks before I did.  Now, it's been around a week I'm here and this guy is showing me a face of him I rarely saw.  To put things short, he just asked my mom if he could be boss of the house so that he could show us how to live properly.  And it’s gets worse from there on. 

 

,Now the damn problem, that I only learned a few hours ago, is that if we make him leave before August 31, he’ll want his money back.  That’s a normal request but the thing is my mom spent the cash already since she badly needed it in the first place.   So she doesn’t have the cash and I sure don’t since I lost my job a month and a half ago and I’m still paying this screwed up move of mine (more on that later).  The only good news in this is that he only has about 7 weeks left here and most of the time he’s gone to work or his girlfriend.

 

All I wanted was to simplify my life since my health took a turn for the negative and again I find a way to put things more complicated than they should be.  Anyway, tomorrow I’ll start thinking about some short term solution and until I find one I can’t wait to see where this fresh hell leads me.

The Live Journal.
For awhile I forgot about it.
As I was doing some more packing for my upcoming move, I found a notebook with a few old passwords in it and that's when I came across the Live journal password.  So, I decided to check if my account is still valid and since I'm writing in it right now I guess it still works. 
It's a good thing at a good time.  I need to write down some stuff and get back in some sort of writing groove here...if there is such a thing.  I'll be using this live journal to write almost anything that pops into my head just for the hell of it.  Might make sense and it might not but as long as it is fun that's all that counts.

I doubt anybody will be reading this as any internet friends I have are pretty much burned with me and they have every right to be.  I dropped of the face of the earth without much explanation.  I was in a very bad place mentally for a very long time.  I had to much to deal with in so little time that I burned out.  Now, I have no choice to make some drastic changes in my life, it's a question of health.  So I might not write a lot here in the next few weeks as I finish preparing for my move but the second part of the year should bring me more time and I plan on getting back on most things that I enjoyed back in the day.

Anyway, people reading this or not won't make much of a difference.  I'm mostly doing this for myself and just typing this at this moment is actually feeling good. 

Can't wait to see where this will lead next.

Finish.

I lost.

Ain't that nice. Maybe I should have done what the other side did. Lie and cheat my way through the whole thing. Why oh why do I always have to be bloody honest.

I just spent the last two days in court. Alot of stuff happened. 90% of it I predicted with one or two surprises...on both sides. Details later when I can because it would be too long to go trough it all and I got to get ready soon for another trip in court. This time it's for the judge decision. Should be very interesting. Keep you posted when I can.

Later!

Finally arrived to the moment that scares and excites me at the same time. I'm going to take a bath.

Err....no, that's not it. I'm going to court to squash my lying, cheating, backstabbing stepmom. Oh what fun this will be. I'm prepared as I'll ever be, so.....here I go.

Sorry folks, but I'm still around :P
Just been busier than I ever been in the last two years. Everything is happening almost at the same time and I berely have time to see the day pass by.

Anyway, most of you know, getting sick is something that is hard to do. But as much as I would like to, I'm not invincible. The last month was cold and wet and I work outside. So I guess I was bound to get something and this morning as I woke up, I did.

Here's one way not to wake up. My head was hurting, my right ear was blocked, my nose was flowing freely and I have a touch of asthma. Talk about all or nothing. So today I'll be drinking alot of juice and eat a soup or two. That usually does the work.

Also not helping much is that I'm only a few days away from going to court and that gets me more and more nervous each passing day. Can't wait for all of it to be finished though.

And with that said, I'm off. Hope you all doing better than I am.

This was a long, hard wet week. Glad it's finally over so that I may give relaxing a chance. Think I'll try and catch a movie...probably "Serenity" since I enjoyed the Firefly TV series. If that doesn't do it, then maybe try and hunt down Jaggs. That should be good for a giggle. ;)

Woke up this morning and went to my usual routine, As I was unlocking my bike, I realized that the back tire seem a little bit flat. So I checked it out and indeed, no air was inside. The reason for that was someone had slashed out my back tire. Brand new back tired slashes. I got pissed wondering who would want to do that to me. After a little while as I was thinking my next move for today, I was talking out the garbage when I heard a neighbor swearing and took a peek. Seems his bike too was slashed. So I talked to him and we started checking around the neighborhood. Every parked bike outside had slashed tires. It looks like the work of some imbecile having fun with a knife or something during the night.

Sometimes I just don't understand people. How much fun can someone have going around destroying tires?

Anyway, at this point of the year i'm starting to wonder if I should fix the bike again or just put it away for the winter and worry about it next year. Whatever I decide it won't change the fact that this little incident screwed up my day.

BTW, tires are not the only thing that got cut off. The garage at the corner of my street got it's hose that you use to put air in tires cut off too. Maybe it's someone who's anti-tire or something. Go figure.

In one month from now I go to court to prouve that my stepmom created a false will after my dad died to run away with everything. I was fast enough and blocked her at the time. Now we go in front of a judge and play all our cards...mine being much better than hers. Of course I expect her to cheat and lie her way through the whole thing and she will probably try to get in my head on the day in question as to confuse me. I'll be going in very prepared and will do my best to not let her get away with it. But I have to admit, each day that passes is making me nervous. I lose, my life continues as it does now...not all that great. I win, My life changes for the better as I finally got the break I need to get everything straight and move on to something better.

Alot on the line here for many people.
It should end up a very interesting day.

I finished a run for the day and was coming back home on bike when all of a sudden I go flying through the air.

I got hit by a car.

I get I was overdue since it's been a while I was hit by a car. Lady was not looking on the side I was coming and she was coming out of a parking lot. As a bonus, she was busy talking on the Cellphone. So she hit the back of my bike and I fell on the sidewalk. I did okay, probably thanks to the number of time I got hit, I only scratched my hands and my left leg is hurting a little bit. Nothing is broken.

The "nice" lady came out of her car, checked if I was okay. Saw the bike had the worst of it(back wheel is finished) and when she saw I was fine starting yelling at me to watch where I'm going. She saw the looks in my eyes and ran back in her car. By the time I got up to slap her behind the head she had already left.

Days like these are usually at the start of the week, not the middle. At least I got a good excuse not to go work tomorrow.

I'm starting to think at this point maybe I should not have gotten up today and just called in sick or something.

I've just learned that in about an hour or so my favorite neighbor in the building is moving away. Everything was done real fast she had a good opportunaty and she jumped on it. I'm sad to see her leave as she was the only one I can stand here.

If that was not enough, I go in the living room to play a little bit of PS2 to change my mind and the bloody thing breaks. Power supply blew. So no more PS2.

I wonder what's next for today?

I think I'll leave the LJ alone for awhile

Okay, maybe today I got off on a bad foot or I'm just not feeling well but I don't think it's either. Just seems each time I check out the latest entries of people I know they seem to have something I pretty much blew a few years back, which is friendship in a community. I just sit here and read the interaction that goes on between folks and it just reminds me time and time again how I blew it. Most of the time I feel like a stranger trying to fit in somewhere I just don't belong. Maybe all I need is to take a step back for a while and revaluate my life a bit more. Maybe try a different approach or maybe just try and change the way i do certain things.

As it is, there's just too many maybes and I need to think this out. My main problem is I don't want to overthink too much before the 7th of November because that's the day my life is going to take a certain direction. Might be a good one or a bad one. Won't know until that day comes and goes.

I can't really blame the people around here because they have all been great. Being away in long strech of time sure didn't help me much or being silent most of the time also didn't. I know it's hard to believe but most of the time I'm just plain shy...well that and I'm afraid to open up too much. I don't know much anymore than I'm just an old fart that blew some of the best things I could have had in many years.

Anyway, I'll be leaving the LJ alone for a while until I can get my head in a better place. Last thing I need is poison whatever friends I have left with my depression.

Until then, I'll probably be thinking.

Ahoy! thar me buckos. today be talk like a pirate day. So don't be afraid t' go out thar and have fun with this. aaaaaaar!

For more info, check this site out:

http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

I'm so tired of this damn summer that it's just not funny anymore.

Each damn day all I hear when I check the weather forecast is "hot and humid." Now I know some people enjoy this but I don't. I'm tired of sweating each day just by only sitting down doing nothing. I'm tired of not breathing properly because the air is too thick with humidity. I'm tired of not being able to sleep. If I'm lucky i'm able to slip in almost 5 full hours a sleep in a row, but when I wake up it feels like I didn't sleep at all and as a bonus I'm all wet because I was sweating in my sleep.

Heat I can take. It ain't too much of a problem. Heat with humidity, now that a whole new ball game. It's like living in a sauna 24 hours a day. This has been by far one of the worse summer in the last few years. Bring on spring.

Also this week I end up with a sister that's pissed at me because I'm pissed at her. What a bitch.

I've been trying to contact her VIA her cellphone for almost a month to tell her news about the upcoming trial we have to go through for the succesion. She didn't anwser her phone nor did she returned any of my calls. Then after a while I hear that she finally made contact with my mother and she is well aware that i'm trying to reach her. So I stopped calling her and leave her a full week to return my call.
Nothing.
So again I pick her the phone and what do you know, she anwsered. Problem is, at that point I'm not too happy. So I ask her why she didn't answer her phone for a whole month and her excuse was she was away at Ottawa for two weeks. I swear, I almost banged my head on the table.
I tell her, two week ain't a month, and that's not counting the extra week where I didn't call. She gives me a few seconds of silence not knowing what to say and then start bitching on how everyone seems mad at her lately and just making herself out as a victim. After two minutes of whinning I had enough and just hung up.
I thought that would be the end of that for a while but nooooo. All last week I had to hear from other people she talked to how much I was a bastard for being a monsters to my sister. It would seem she telling people things that I didn't do. She laying it pretty thick.
At least it ain't hurting much because she already has a bad rep as a very awful mother and she has burned everybody our family knows at least twice. People are not beliving her but I still do get some reports on the things she saying and I get the feeling that when we meet this coming November it won't be a nice reunion.

I always said, you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family...dammit.

I don't know if anybody is paying attention to this journal anymore but just in case I thought I'd let know that I have been quite busy lately and I should use this journal on a more regular basis in the next few weeks.

It's been a horrible summer and I'm glad it's coming to an end. I just hope I can get back to talking to some friends I haven't seen in quite some time. I really do miss some of the fun I had on the net a few months ago.

Anyway, here's hoping.....

Where to begin...

First off this is the time of year where the job is hard. X-mas is coming so of course the fliers are getting more and more heavier/thicker. Since I get paid by copie and not by weight, it's not a fun time to work outside...specially with winter starting to show up. The rain is sure cold this time of year when you work outside.

Second, I have to mostly deal with my sister which is finally realizing that the guy she's been with the last 5 years is not for her. Something that everybody has known for years but she mostly stayed with him because he's cute and fun to party with. But now lately he's been less and less fun and the daughter they had together is starting to get on thier nerves. Both of them are now opening their eyes that the style of life they led was not so good for raising a little girl. So for the last few months things have been getting worse and worse with them. I told my sister what she should do judging from the experience I got over the years. My mom pretty mom told her the same thing I said, but as usual she doesn't listen and keeps getting into more shit. So i pretty much had enough and backed out of her problems. I have enough of my own to deal with anyway. But the thing is she is using my mother big time and I've been watching my mom get sicker and sicker each passing week. This those not bode well.

For a long time me and my mom did not click together. She had problems. But in the last two years she did things to fix those problems and in the last few months I've been very impressed by the person I've been talking too. Took a long time but I finally have a decent relationship with my mom. And now my sister with her stupid crap is doing more damege than anything else. On some days my mom has almost no energy left and has the hardest of time just walking in her own condo. I do what I can to help her out and hope that it's enough. Just to make things worse, last night I gave a gift to my sister daughter(my niece) and since her daughter lives with her father while she's hiding at my mom's place, she saw that as an act of betrayal. Because I talked to her boyfriend to give the gift it would seem all of a sudden I'm taking his side. So she went in full blown histeria and never wants to talk to me ever again. Talk about over-reacting.

Third, what i'd like to call "the yo-yo will"
My dad died last April, didn't really left any will. There was a piece of paper with a few lines on it with his signature. It's been proved more than once that the "will" my stepmom has is no good. So after some debate and more twists and turns than I'd like to imagine, it was finally settled that we should split everthing 4 ways. Then as that was going to happen, my mom comes out with a legal Will that my dad made in 1969. So more twists and turns took over the next few months. Now finally this week we settled one issue. The Will my mom is no good. There is a law here that was put up in 1994 that says once she divorced my dad the Will because no good. So now my mom is out of the picture and we are back at square one....or so I thought. This day thing has been talking so many turns it's just not funny anymore. Now because of what my mom did, my stepmom was able to get more time to get better lawyers and they seem to have found a loophole in the situation. The Will she has is still no good, but the loophole says that she can take the few lines he wrote on that Will and turn it into what they call a Holograph Will. All they need is for someone to prove that it is his handwriting. So my dear brother signed a paper saying that it was my dad handwriting and on top of that also signed a waver of the heritance giving everything away to my stepmom. He's making sure me and my sister gets nothing. Ain't it nice?

Now here's another twist, I saw the Will my stepmom had only once and that was during my dad's funural. I sure was in no mood to read the damn thing that day and now I think that it was done on purpose. Get me while I had my guard down. After 3 request from my lawyer, we finally got a copie of the damn thing and now that my head is clearer, I saw something really wrong with it. The signature was all wrong. It was too small and wasn't signed is usual way. So I brought that up to my lawyer and he's now getting an expert to analyze the signature.

So that quickly recaps what has been going on this week in my life.
If I had to look on the bright side of things then I'd have to say, my job will only suck for about three weeks and then it's almost dead for a while. January is always a dead month with almost nothing going on. So I'm looking forward to just sitting home playing my PS2 in a few weeks. My mom was able to find a sucker willing to pay full price for her condo and with the money bought a house a few cities from here. So she'll be far enough for my sister not to make her more sick anymore and she will be in a better environment. She moves in the middle of January. I just hope my sister don't make her to sick by then. And I found a few old papers with my dad's signature on it showing full well that there is something wrong with the signature on the Will my stepmom has. I gave them all to my lawyer and he's working on it. I also told my lawyer that I'm giving a chance to my stepmom to get out with something. If she's ready to split everything in 3 then I won't bring her to court. the ball is on her side now I'm waiting to see what happens next.

I'll tell you this, with a familly like mine, I sure don't need ennemies.

Guess it's time for me to put something in here so lets give it a shot.

Usually I know I had a good time the night before when I wake up the morning after and feel like crap. Yesterday was the Grey cup(Canadian Superbowl) and one of my friends was doing a Grey cup day over at his place. It was junk food heaven with the pizza, beer, chicken wings and so on. Another fun point in the evening was when the game was over people kept fooling around with Grand Theft auto: san andreas that I had brought over. We never realized the time pass as we were having too much fun. I left at 2am and I think so did everybody else. Can't remember the last time I had such a fun day. Feels good for a change compared to all the garbage going around in my life lately. Maybe this was the break I needed to recharge my batteries. Anyway, unless I take a nap this afternoon, which seems to be unlikely, I won't be going to bed late tonight.

Damn what a good day.